Hormonal Mystique:

A married man's eternal grouse is: "I can't understand that woman!" And just when he's becoming used to her ways, wails and wiles him groans: "Help! My wife is turning into somebody else!" Consider these true-life statements: "My wife used to follow my wishes blindly. Her whole life revolved around my comfort. Suddenly she insists that she wants to find herself, to do her own thing!" "All night long my missus tosses and turns, changes her clothes and sometimes the sheets. All day long she is prickly and throws tantrums at the slightest provocation. Where is the sweet and gentle girl that I married?"

“We used to have a wild time in bed. Now, she won't let me touch her. She finds sex distasteful!"

The catch was that the women were only allowed entry if they were accompanied by their husbands. Parker says that if a woman has her husband" s support, "she handles menopause more efficiently, than if she is isolated. Conversely, a husband who understands his wife's condition does not feel puzzled and left out. This makes for a better marriage, which is involved in his wife's pregnancy and childbirth, makes a better father." Parker answers some of the question that worries and mystifies men, but they seldom manage to voice.

So what's with menopause? Why is it called the change of life?

I prefer a change of life. It's just another rite of passage like puberty, pregnancy, motherhood where a woman's body and mind undergoes changes. She is in her prime. One third of her life is yet to be. It is up to you to help her to make a smooth transition into menopause, the next natural stage of her reproductive system.

The more you accept, reassure and support her shifting gears, the less you will both be likely to be traumatized by them.

How is this hormonal shift different from what happens to older men?

In men, Androgen or male hormones do not dwindle into nothing, which is why it is called PAD AM (Partial Androgen Deficiency in the Aging Male).

Only 1% to 2% of 50-year-olds,

5% of 60-year-olds and

20% of 70 year olds suffer from PADAM.

Between 40 and 50 your testicles decrease testosterone production at the rate of 1% a year. Medical opinion has it that the symptoms that beset an older man, such as fatigue, depression, low libido, sexual dysfunction, nervousness, aches and pains and such, are more psycho-social than hormonal. You may also lose muscle and bone, grow a pot belly and fall prey to lifestyle ailments, which can be prevented and treated. Your potency and libido can remain, except if you have other medical problems or drink heavily.

Menopause means the last menstrual period and actually happens between 45 and 55, although today it's even happening to women of 40. It signals an end to ovarian function and the ability to conceive and menstruate.


Leading up to this time, as there are 40 eggs developing; the ovaries gradually secrete less of the hormone estrogen (which gets her set for pregnancy) and progesterone (which sheds the uterine lining when conception does not take place). Periods become irregular and stop. Ovulation ceases. After a year of no periods you don't need a medical diagnosis to tell you that she has menopause. It is only then that you can stop using contraception.

No periods means no PMT, but does not mean a full stop to other activities. Menopause also happens if the uterus and ovaries or both ovaries have been removed in a hysterectomy. If the uterus alone has been removed then she will not have periods or babies but her ovaries will continue to secrete hormones every month. Menopause will occur at such time as it would have naturally.

Short term symptoms Usually disappear or are accepted as the body and mind adapts to the changes such as hot flushes, burning hands and feet, palpitations, facial hair, dizziness, lethargy, fatigue, fainting, itchy skin, genito-urinary infections, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, hysteria, unreasonable fears, wrinkles.

Long term symptoms are heart disease - with Estrogen no longer watch dogging a woman's heart, fatty deposits and bad LDL cholesterol can build up in her arteries, increasing the risk of strokes and heart attacks in 60% of women; osteoporosis; arthritis; diabetes; Alzheimer's; all of which can be prevented and treated. One third of women escape unscathed with none or very mild symptoms.


There is a transitional period called perimenopause which is a preamble to the actual thing. Neither your mother nor mother-in-law was aware of it, because it had not been identified in their time. Perimenopause arrives earlier and earlier, due to environmental changes and bad nutrition. During this time Estrogen and Progesterone levels fluctuate wildly — from very high to none at all. That's why sudden strange symptoms such as dizziness, palpitations, sweating, irritability which are mistaken for PMT pop in and out erratically without any discernible pattern. One of the first harbingers can be irregular periods — shorter, longer, lighter, and heavier. They may disappear for months and become clockwork regular again.


The Estrogen imbalance causes a dilation of the blood vessels... which increases the skin temperature... and makes the skin look red. 88% of women suffer from hot flashes, night sweats, dizziness, burning feet and hands, which can last from 30 seconds to 5 minutes - and are guaranteed to curdle the blandest disposition.

Now while these aggravations can occur without any provocation, they can be triggered by anxiety, over exertion, hot coffee, spicy food, and synthetic garments. The good news is that without any medical intervention, the symptoms vanish like a bad dream within one to 5 years. In the meantime women could try the following tactics that have been shown to ease the discomfort:

* Belly breathing Sit comfortably in a quiet spot. Inhale slowly and deeply through the nose for 5 seconds so that the belly expands; then exhale through your mouth for 5, continuing for 15 minutes. The more she does it, the fewer heat waves she'll have. Researchers believe that deep breathing may drop the body's core temperature slightly.

* Exercise taking regular Spin classes won't nix hot flashes, but menopausal women who exercise do report less flash-induced discomfort. Apparently, the heat and soaking that come with flashes and night sweats don't seem so distressing for a regular exerciser.

* Smell the relief A recent Japanese study of 15 women found that those who got two 20-minute aromatherapy rubdowns and performed self-massages with scented oil three times weekly reported fewer hot flashes and sounder sleep after 1 month.

* Other Tricks like are getting extra Vitamin E, more fluids, shunning hot drinks and hot baths, wearing loose cottons. Fruit, veggies and phytoestrogen rich foods trick the body into believing that it has more estrogen than it really does. Boron (found in apples, beans, cabbage, figs, plums, prunes, strawberries) helps the body to hold on to its estrogen supplies.

* Herbal help Research from Germany on black cohosh has shown that it can reduce the severity of hot flashes and night sweats similar to that seen in estrogen therapy.

* Medication for severe cases Her doctor may prescribe Estrogen and other supplements for short periods.


Quite often Indian women put on weight after menopause because they feel that it is the end of their attractiveness. They neglect their appearance and indulge themselves with food.

Fact: A typical woman gains an average of almost 4.5 kilos before menopause at the age of 35 to 45, and from 45 to 55 adds up another 0.9 kg.

Here's where men come in. Make changes in both your food habits. Eat small frequent balanced meals together. Give up the daily post-dinner dessert habit; if you must have a sweet, make it a fruit or a single square of dark chocolate. You don't have to live on salads. Experiment, to create titillating lean cuisine lean meat and green veggies, sprouts and beans, wholegrain low fat dairy and fish - the market is flooded with easy-to-follow cookbooks. Recognize that neither one of you can indulge in fries nor potato chips like twenty-year-olds. The good news is that these dietary changes also help protect a woman's - and your - heart. Exercise regularly together. Start with yoga, swimming, walking — after getting your doctors nod. All this tots up to better bodies, added stamina - and more togetherness.


Menopause has long been blamed for mature women’s blahs. But psychiatrists' case studies show that these women seek help because they already have emotional problems. Studies at Yale Medical School find that the signs of depression and stress are not worse in menopausal women as compared to younger ones.

Sometimes the emotional symptoms that are pinned on menopause like crying jags, temper tantrums, panic attacks, lack of concentration et al result from sleeplessness due to night sweats, troublesome teens, coming for aging parents, failing careers, retirement, poor self esteem. The connection to menopause could merely be co- incidental. I always talk to my patients to get to the root of the problem.

Yoga, relaxation techniques, meditation and massage can help her - and you - to cope better. Be especially tender to your mate who has cosseted you through the years. Give her a foot, or head massage. Surprise her with a coupon for a makeover. Help her revamp her wardrobe. Enroll her in an exercise regimen to release feel-good hormones. Bring back a joke or two with the daily bread. Maintain an active interest in her day, encourage new hobbies and games. And see how her spirits will lift. If the symptoms of anxiety, weight change, sleeplessness, memory loss, social withdrawal, stress, palpitations are severe it could be clinical depression. Consult a psychiatrist, which doesn't mean that she is crazy, but just needs help.


Estrogen deficiency causes the vagina to thin and shrink, and lubrication to decline resulting in vaginal dryness, soreness, itching and bleeding after intercourse. The tissues of the urinary tract also shrink, leading to frequent infections and incontinence. Sadly in India it is wrongly believed that sex is a youthful pursuit which oldies should relinquish. Women proudly - or ruefully - proclaim: "That part of our life is over!" A great many women actually experience an increase in sexual pleasure after menopause: The children are independent, there is more privacy and leisure, and they don't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy. Spontaneous sex is like bonus point.

Happily, estrogen is not the libido hormone. It's testosterone, your male hormone, which her adrenal glands also produce for many years after estrogen has bowed out. Some older women may also develop a larger and more complex system of veins in the genital area which can help orgasm. The most important thing is to stay sexually active to stimulate blood flow and flexibility to the vagina and surrounding tissues. It's disuse, not use that causes atrophy. Although inevitably both your sexual systems will age, along with your sight, taste, smell and hearing, you have to change focus, tone down expectations, and accept limitations, not-so-firm breasts, and saddle bags. Penetrative sex may become less frequent. You have more time for innovations in foreplay, which can serve as a delightful multi dimensional alternative to intercourse.

Sex in any form can bring closeness and contentment, can let you give and receive tenderness, can make you feel good about yourself. Kegel's exercises help her to tighten her urethral muscles and delay incontinence. Vaginal dryness can respond to K. Y. Jelly or estrogen creams (which need a medical evaluation).

Copyright © 2008 bodyhealthbeauty.org. All rights reserved.
Contact | Site Map