It's a cold hard fact. Our small children indulge in horrid little habits guaranteed to drive us parents crazy. Actually most of them are considered normal growing pains and aren't a sign of trauma, unless the child indulges in them consistently to the exclusion of everything else. Only if the vice worsens should you look for an underlying cause.


Five per cent children hold their breath subconsciously, get blue and even pass out briefly when they are angry, upset or scolded. This begins at 2 and disappears by 8 in 83%. The child cries out, breathes out Aid stops breathing.

What to do: Above all. Don’t panic. A child's physical mechanism will get them breathing again. A cold cloth on the face will help. Never shake a breath holder in the act, which may cause brain damage. Later on you can say: 'That was silly." Never use the word "Naughty" as it makes them feel that they've achieved something. Don't make a fuss about it later although you could ward off future episodes, deliberate or otherwise, by diversionary tactics, without allowing the child free rein.

When to worry: If your child doesn't come to within a minute nor has a convulsion get to an Emergency Room. Take your child to a pediatrician after the first episode to make sure that there isn't a medical problem.


A favorite with the under fours when sharpening their milk teeth, in a friendly or angry spirit. From the biter's point of view it's a great method to get their own way, with say the TV remote or the toy.

What to do: It's tempting, but don't bite back, which can wind up either in a game or a full scale war. Stay in charge as a friendly boss. Draw back and show that you don't like it because it hurts. When they get set for action, take their li'l hand and pop it in their own mouth.

When to worry: If the biting goes on to harm other children for no good reason, meet a counsellor. The child needs more energetic ways to expend energy and curb aggression.


Can be directed towards parents and other children. Spitting is invariably copied from domestic paan chewers or Bollywood baddies and is common among four to fivers because it seems grown up.

What to do: Say "No" firmly. If your kids kick or pull hair, explain that it hurts and that they wouldn't like other people to do it to them. Before you go visiting emphasize that you will leave if there's a battle. Don't get too hyper. This makes the children feel that they have to live up to a bad reputation. If your kid's spitting march him out of the room and shut the door, saying "I won't have that kind of behavior". Find out the underlying cause for the bad behavior - it could be an attention-seeking device or an emotional reaction to family problems.

When to worry: If the child causes physical harm consistently by fighting, seek counselling.


Most children go through stages of picky eating, refusing green veggies or dousing everything with tomato ketchup. Some may even induce vomitting to get rid of the offending food. But it's a phase they usually grow out of, and twelve years down the road, you may have to put them on a diet.

What to do: Remember that you too have fads and fancies. Stop worrying. There's not much you can do to prevent it. Make mealtimes funtimes. Instill good eating habits early, as soon as they can feed themselves, never mind the mess. Try to eat as a family so that food is associated with chatter and communication.

Never use food as a reward, threat or bribe. Serve small portions and take away unwanted food without coaxing or threatening. Once your children realize that you are not worried whether or not they eat the food, refusing will lose its bite. Sometimes having a friend over or eating in somebody else's house helps to break the pattern. Keep unhealthy snacking between meals to a minimum. If the child throws up at will, because he was coaxed or forced to eat, or as part of a tantrum because they want to do something you won't let them do or don’t want to do something you want them to do, you have to negotiate.

When to worry: only in the teenage years when anorexia may emerge in girls.


Children lie to avoid displeasure, get out of a jam, boast or fantasize. Even a toddler is capable of it and parents can be shocked that a rosebud mouth that has just learned to lisp is capable of deceit.

What to do: Lying can be a cry for attention. Find out why your child feels the need to fib. It could be due to pressure to perform or peer pressure, insecurity or lack of confidence. So handle it with tact and confidence, without pretending that you have been fooled.

Introduce the idea of right and wrong using the Pinnochio story. Emphasize that the truth will come out, if not today, at some other time. This removes the point of lying. Set an example. Avoid breaking promises. Try not to tell white lies in front of your child. Give praise when your child tells the truth, say, about a bad mark or a broken plate. When to worry: If your child lies consistently, and you can't figure out the reason, consult a counsellor.


None of these habits appear to have any underlying problems, but anxiety, such as scary movies or being called on to answer at school, can aggravate nail biting. Some children even enjoy the habit. Nose picking is a harmless antisocial habit that isn't restricted to kids! Many adults do it when nobody's watching - and even explore the contents!

What to do: Nagging or punishing doesn't stop the nail biting or hair twiddling for longer than 30 seconds, because it becomes an involuntary action. Try to find out if the child feels pressurised. Are they constantly being corrected, warned, urged, and scolded? Are you expecting too much by way of academics?

As an incentive to, stop; use pretty mittens for little ones, manicure sets and nail polish for girls. Reward if one or more nails are not bitten and trim nails regularly, so that there is nothing left to chew. Hair twiddling is not worth fussing over unless s/he pulls out hair at the roots to cause bald patches, which indicates an emotional disturbance.

When to worry: As for nose picking, just remind your child that it is not a pleasant activity to watch. It's rarely a cause for concern, except if it starts a nosebleed.


One in ten children stammer at the age of 5, dropping to one in 1000 at 15. The most obvious cause is a lack of synchronization between thought and speech. They're unable to talk as quickly as they're thinking. Severe stammering is infrequent.

What to do: Be patient. Try not to finish sentences, correct speech or start speech training at 2 ½. Seek out underlying causes such as jealousy or insecurity. Play by doing things rather than talking things. When your child talks give him your attention so that he doesn't get frantic trying to vocalize an exciting event.

When to worry: If the problem persists for a long period of time and involves difficulty making sounds rather than just stumbling over words, meet a speech therapist.


Babies rage when their physical needs are not met immediately. Likewise two-to four-year olds lie on the floor, flail limbs, scream and bang around because they can't do something, aren't allowed to do it or are made to do it. Parents are likely to blame themselves when the real cause is usually a combination of the child's personality, develop-mentally normal behaviour and immediate circumstances.

What to do: It takes patience. Hold infants firmly and gently to help calm them. Also talk soothingly, lull the child to sleep or try distraction. Try sympathizing with a toddler.Discover the cause of the anger. Reinforce the fact that while it's allright to be angry, getting out of control is not OK. Ask the child plainly and firmly to stop.

If it happens in a public place, most often in a shopping centre or crowded park, scoop up the bawler, paste on a grin and go to a quiet spot where you can both cool off. Ignore the child for about 3 minutes, and then issue a one-to-ten deadline to stop. Show love when the storm has passed without giving in over the issue.

When to worry: If it lasts for more than 15 minutes, they harm themselves or others, happens regularly several times a day. Check in with your pediatrician — it could mean anything from overexhaustion to a chronic physical problem.


Around 50% of 3- to 4-year-olds plop their thumbs into their mouths, dropping to 1 in 15 by age 10. Sucking is a survival instinct - babies do it for milk and comfort. Many stop at playschool level, although they may indulge because they're tired, insecure, bored. Nagging or forcing children to stop with artificial restraits, causes unnecessary all round stress.

What to do: Keep the child contented, constructively occupied and well-fed. Don't worry if the thumb is used as a sleep inducer. Praise when they are not doing it rather than rage when they are. Beware of aunties who coo "How cute" or grimace "How gross"!

When to worry: Dentists agree that thumbsucking does little harm to first teeth, but when secondary teeth are forming by five, the upper teeth can be pushed forwards and the lower can fall backwards or inwards. Consult your doctor if the habit persists after five.


Repetitive forms of behaviour often do not start until the age of 4 and can take the form of blinking, sniffing, throat cleaning, grimacing, shrugging, hand wringing, knuckle cracking, and neck twisting. The motion is usually very quick and is repeated regularly in the same form. It may last on and off for a couple of weeks or months and vanish into the night or be replaced by a brand new quirk. The habit is more frequent when the child is under tension and is usually absent during sleep. It is outgrown around puberty although in some the habit persists until 15.

What to do: The condition is more common in tense children and is aggravated by domestic, academic or social pressure. Do not scold, mimic or correct because the habit is out of the child's control. Try to create a happy and relaxed home environment with satisfying occupations and friends.

When to worry: A rare medical condition called Tourette syndrome involves a combination of tics, grunts and obsessional behaviour and has to be referred to a specialist.

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